Struggling to deal with an alcoholic? This post is for you.

Dealing with an alcoholic on a daily basis is not easy! When you try and express yourself to others who don't have to deal with this, they won't understand the magnitude and seriousness of the problem. It's better to confide in someone who knows what it feels like, not just someone who "has an uncle as an alcoholic and deals with him on the holidays."

For me, my parent is a functioning alcoholic: they handle a life aside from their addiction. So many people have said "Well at least they are in your life!" but for the majority of my life, its been hell going through hurt after hurt each day. It's absolutely heartbreaking to live with. Disappointment floods the house most nights. Hope stirs up a bunch of emotions, only to dwindle shortly after.

Since this topic is so frustrating, I rarely talk about this part of my life to others. You may do the same. Recently I noticed how much this bottling up and internalizing mechanism has affected my own life. It's made it hard to accept real love from other people, as you can see here. And if you've experienced it, you know how much someone else's addiction can ruin a family.

I think it's time that I start talking about this topic to help others deal with their own hearts towards themselves and those that have hurt them. 

Some Christians think it's okay to drink, and I can't disagree. I personally think it's okay to have a drink, but not if you're doing it in sin. Some drink because of stress, even if it's once or twice a month, and that is sin. It's a cop out mechanism to try and deter you from dealing with the real problem. We should be spending time with the Lord during dark moments, not relying on a depressant to make us happy (common sense) or relax us.

"Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour" (1 Peter 5:8)

"So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God" (1 Corinthians 10:31)

If you do indulge in drinking, be watchful of your reasons for it. Sometimes they can be excuses, which can lead to real danger if were not careful (more about that here). And if we are in the clear to drink, make sure it's glorifying God with the right setting and within limit.

The alcoholic you deal with may not be a believer. But since I am called a child of God, I must walk by the Spirit and therefore proceed with the fruit of the Spirit. Their salvation is in Jesus' hands, but I will be judged for being a light in this world. And so in everything, I must glorify God.

And I want you to remember that at any point in time, this alcoholic can be saved by Jesus and made new. How we react to them now is an important factor in determining that. This is why I am creating a post on how to deal with an alcoholic properly. The whole purpose is to let God be glorified because alcohol isn't the real problem, it's the person's soul that needs the attention.

Extending grace to darkness is a balancing act, but His mercies are new for us to start fresh every day. 

15 Ways to Deal with an Alcoholic:

1. Remember that they are not of the light. They can't see a future filled with light. They don't comprehend how great their life would be without the alcohol. This is the only way they know how to live. You are expected to live a certain way, but that's not how they live. They may do good one day and disappoint the next. The standard shouldn't be set too high.
2. Pray more than you complain. Seriously. Seriously. Seriously. A lot more happens by grace than by effort. God can do more in a day than you can in ten years.
3. Don't vent to other people about the alcoholic's faults. This is essentially complaining and gossiping. Ask a prayer warrior for prayer. Ask an experienced individual for advice on how to handle a particular situation. But don't shout to the world about another's failure.
4. It's okay to want space. Do take care of yourself. It's easy to turn into a caregiver for someone who is an alcoholic. This can cause anger and bitterness that only hurts yourself. Make sure to let these things go with time spent alone.
5. Don't be mean! Let them know how much you love them. You hate their sin and what it causes. You don't hate them, even when you think you do. The battle is bigger than flesh and blood.
6. If you do hate them, get healed. Hurt people hurt other people. This alcoholic is hurting, and now you're hurt by them. You can't heal them if you're not healed! Look for Christian counseling. You can't heal yourself. You need to get around a community.
7. Don't take it personally. 1 Thessalonians 4:8.
8. Ask God what you need to change. We get frustrated by sins that we ourselves may need to fix. This person may become impatient when they're drinking, and that may bother you because you are impatient yourself. Obey what He tells you to change. This may prevent a lot of future arguments.
9. Keep your faith. We walk by faith, not by sight. Your situation now does not dictate your future. A bad reality can't stop God from working a miracle.
10. Focus on the positive. When this person isn't drinking, they have positive attributes about them. They may know how to cook really well. They may give compliments to others. Humans are so much more than what we label them to be. We just tend to focus on the wrong things about them.
11. Practice the fruit of the Spirit. Never quit doing this. Galatians 5:22-23.
12. Submit. This is how we win over lost souls. Exodus 20:12 and 1 Peter 3:1.
13. Serve. Work as onto the Lord. Colossians 3:23.
14. Let go of anger before sleeping. Ephesians 4:26.
15. Start new every day. 

How have you been healed from the hurt of alcoholism? Share any testimonies in the comments below!